Sunday, October 31

This world makes me so angry. We all say we don’t want to conform, but then try our absolute hardest to be just like everybody else. I’m sick of it. All this pretentious bullshit. You can argue with me, and say that you don’t care what anyone else thinks. But no matter how hard you try and convince yourself, you know thats bullshit. Everybody cares. Thats why you put that shit in your hair and buy the most expensive cosmetics you can. It’s why you pay $300 for a pair of jeans. It’s why you go to university, and why you think you need to get married. You can pretend you do it purely for yourself, because it makes you feel good. But ask yourself why. Why does it make you feel good? Most of time, its not because of you at all, but because your pleasing your inner desire to be what the world wants you to be. Our entire lives are ruled by these false beliefs that have been drilled into us since we were five years old, about what we need to do and how we need to look and the way we should live our lives, in order to be happy. When did this continuous circle of shit begin? Who made up these rules? Who decided that in order to be ‘attractive’ we need to put a whole lot of crap on our faces and weigh a certain amount, or else we’re doomed to never be called beautiful? Who on earth came up with the idea that we need a career? I just can’t understand this world. And they try to defend it all by calling it things like fashion and business and beauty They say their passionate about these things, and people should appreciate passion. I’m not disputing these things should exist, i’m just wondering when it got the point where they rule everyones lives, not just those that want it to. And these people, these passionate people. They constantly barrette everyone with the products of their passions, but most of the time its not appreciation and awe thats springs to mind at all. Its envy and yearning. Because, face it, most of us don’t look like the girls in the magazines. And most of can’t afford the things they tell us we need. And so we live our whole lives feeling like we’re lesser off. Like we’re missing out on something. When really, from the moment of our birth, we have everything we need. A brain and two feet. And I’m not so sure we even need the feet.

"All the men she's been with and now you, just you, and the barges going by, masts and hulls, the whole damned current of life flowing through you, through her, through all the guys behind you and after you, the flowers and the birds and the sun streaming in and the fragrance of it choking you, annihilating you."

Henry Miller, Tropic of Cancer