Monday, March 28

When it was over, all I could think about was how this entire notion of oneself, what we are, is just this logical structure, a place to momentarily house all the abstractions. It was a time to become conscious, to give form and coherence to the mystery, and I had been a part of that. It was a gift. Life was raging all around me and every moment was magical. I loved all the people, dealing with all the contradictory impulses - that’s what I loved the most, connecting with the people. Looking back, that’s all that really mattered.

Waking Life

You’re all objects to me now. That’s what I want to say to all my friends, my objects. I needed you all so badly, and it was never enough. Nothing you did was ever enough. So now I have found something that sates me. The burden is off of you. You can use me. I will use you. The slippery element between us, the love I’m always begging for — that’s gone. You should be relieved. I am all mind now. My heart no longer matters. You’re safe with me.

Elizabeth Wurtzel

Frustrated? Yes. Why? Because it is impossible for me to be God -or the universal woman-and-man- or anything much. I am what I feel and think and do. I want to express my being as fully as I can because I somewhere picked up the idea that I could justify my being alive that way. But if I am to express what I am, I must have a standard of life, a jumping off place, a technique - to make arbitrary and temporary organization of my own personal and pathetic little chaos. I am just beginning to realize how false and provincial that standard, or jumping off place, must be. That is what is so hard for me to face.

— The Journals of Sylvia Plath

I always had a repulsive need to be something more than human.

David Bowie