Thursday, March 17

I’m headed for green pastures.

I can feel it in my bones.

Have you ever lost yourself in a kiss? I mean pure psychedelic inebriation. Not just lustful petting but transcendental metamorphosis when you became aware that the greatness of this being was breathing into you. Licking the sides and corners of your mouth, like sealing a thousand fleshy envelopes filled with the essence of your passionate being and then opened by the same mouth and delivered back to you, over and over again - the first kiss of the rest of your life. A kiss that confirms that the universe is aligned, that the world’s greatest resource is love, and maybe even that God is a woman. With or without a belief in God, all kisses are metaphors decipherable by allocations of time, circumstance, and understanding.

~ Saul Williams - Said the shotgun to the Head

There’s still a little bit of your taste in my mouth

There’s still a little bit of you laced with my doubt

It’s still a little hard to say what's going on

There’s still a little bit of your ghost your witness

There’s still a little bit of your face i haven't kissed

You step a little closer each day

That I can´t say what´s going on

Stones taught me to fly

Love, it taught me to lie

Life, it taught me to die

So it's not hard to fall

When you float like a cannonball

There’s still a little bit of your song in my ear

There’s still a little bit of your words i long to hear

You step a little closer to me

So close that I can´t see what´s going on

Stones taught me to fly

Love taught me to lie

Life taught me to die

So its not hard to fall

When you float like a cannon.

Stones taught me to fly

Love, it taught me to cry

So come on courage, teach me to be shy

'Cause its not hard to fall,

And I don't want to scare her

Its not hard to fall

And i don't want to lose

Its not hard to grow

When you know that you just don't know

-Cannonball by Damien Rice

So he had to begin the bitter lesson, to abate himself, to take less than he wanted...It was not, he had to learn, that she would not want him enough, as much as he demanded that she should want him. It was that she could not. She could only want him in her own way, and to her own measure. And she had spent much life before he found her as she was, the woman who could take him and give him fulfillment. She had taken him and given him fulfilment. She still would do so, in her own times and ways. But he must control himself, measure himself to her. - The Rainbow by D.H Lawrence

Millions are condemned to a stiller doom than mine, and millions are in silent revolt against their lot...Women are supposed to be very calm generally, but women feel just as men feel; they need exercise for their faculties, and a field for their efforts as much as their brothers do; they suffer from too rigid a restraint, too absolute a stagnation, precisely as men would suffer, and it is narrow-0minded in their more privileged fellow-creatures to say that they ought to confine themselves to making puddings and knitting stockings, to playing on the piano and embroidering bags. it is thoughtless to condemn them, or laugh at them, if they seek to do more or learn more than custom has pronounced necessary for their sex.

(Jane Eyre)

I want to unravel people, bit by bit, piece by piece; until I’ve untangled the chaotic mess of insecurities, and memories, and beliefs, and experiences that stitch them together, and exposed their very soul. The naked human spirit is a beautiful and formidable thing, so real and so pure, but so delicate. The endowment of something so precious should never be taken lightly. It is a burden few are willing to carry.

But it’s worth it. Shit, it’s more than worth it. That feeling- when you realize that you’re one of the select few people who are ever going to grasp who this person really is - it’s incredible, and it’s irreplaceable.

I care for little else in this life, but the fascination that comes with the unravelling of a human soul .